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July 2011

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Jul. 12th, 2011

Life is insane

The last time I wrote I was depressed because of my lack of love life. Life has turned upside down since then. My best friend who was having relationship problems ended up breaking up with his girlfriend two more times. Of course it wasn't until the semester was over that I found out the real reason behind their break ups. And let me say it wasn't pretty, and it explains why he was so devastated. Since the semester ended we had started hanging out a lot. I thought nothing of it, I was just being a good friend to him. May 8th or (9th at 2 am) was the day that everything changed. My best guy friend kissed me and ever since things have been crazy. Our friendship almost ended several times.... I cried a lot during those times. I'm glad that is behind us. Now .... we're taking things slow but sometimes I just don't like what is going on between us. Things will never be the same, we're okay now but I'm not sure what the future holds. He can't really control himself around me and I just can't understand where this came from.... we've been friends for almost two years and he never had a problem before now.

The craziest thing about all of this is that people were always saying he was in love with me or liked me or whatever. I always said "No he doesn't, its not like that."  And for this to happened, makes me wonder how long he's liked me. Was I just blind? I always just think I'm so stupid. If you just read our text convos I was a little misleading, maybe I gave him a vibe that made him act on his feelings. I don't really know.... anyways this is my life now..... completely different from a few months ago.

Apr. 9th, 2011

Tough Life

Life has gotten harder in the past couple of days. Since my birthday I have been so distracted from my friends at school when we're hanging out to the middle of the night when I received texts and calls from one of my best friends who was having so many relationship problems. And now that he isn't having those problems I don't get texts or calls... my phone stays silent through out the day and I would say I miss it but I don't. I miss the distraction from myself, yes. Because now instead of thinking about his problems I think about my problems which causes me to be depressed. I don't want to be alone at any time in the day because I begin thinking about my problems and my lack of love life. I'm sure it will pass soon.

Mar. 29th, 2011

Living The Dream Update Chapter 18

I've been having problems updating my fanfiction on ff.net for my readers so i'm posting the next chapter of Living The Dream on here.


 
Chapter 18 Collapse )
Read more...Collapse )

Mar. 18th, 2011

...... Forever later

Well I haven't been on here in a long time. I actually gave up on my writing life, in pretty much all aspects. I'm no longer an english major. I never have time to read or write. It's the last day of spring break week..... Friday. I didn't have to work tonight and I didn't have anything to do. So I read a fanfic for like the first time in a year probably. And earlier, before I read the fanfic, I checked my email to find that I had a review on Living The Dream. A reader asked me to finish writing and I really doubted I would. I read the fanfic and really wanted to write on one of them. I want to eventually finish Surviving because it's the best story I've ever written but I read the last chapter of Living The Dream I wrote and I loved it. So now I am working on the next chapter.
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Nov. 22nd, 2010

Away away

You don't understand me no matter how hard you try. You're a great friend but I just want some space from all of my friends please don't think it's just you I'm avoiding. There's just been so much going on in my life the past two weeks I just need time alone. I'll always be here if you really need me because I'm the best kind of friend you can acquire. Have a great Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Nov. 5th, 2010

Nanowrimo life

Word count:6227

Time: 9:58 pm

Waiting on robin to get here to pick me up. Late night run to Walmart

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Widget

<img src= "http://www.nanowrimo.org/widget/LiveParticpant/418250.png" />

Day 5

 Wow I missed the first four days of Nano! I'm behind hardcore! Writing all day to catch up!!!


 

Sep. 26th, 2010

Writer's Block: Last call

What would you do if you only had one month left to live?

If I only had one month to live I would drop out of school and spend as much time as I could with my friends before my life ended. 

Sep. 24th, 2010

Life as I knew it and Life as I know it today

 Last Semester was like another world from what I experience in day to day life now. Last semester I was around school during the daytime and some nights when I slept there. I never truly lived there like I should have; I should have been there all the time but last semester I only had classes on tuesdays and thursdays. Meanwhile the rest of the time I was working more during the day and home was closer to work than school was at the time. I worked all the time it seemed.... now I feel like I'm in school more than I'm at work. My Friends have changed I miss my friends from school last year so much! I need to go down there and visit them soon. One of my closest friends last semester didn't even go to my school he went to SAGU, which is where I attend school now. I had many friends from work that attended SAGU, it was as if God threw them into my life so that I would visit SAGU and get to know the school. Then I fell in love with the school and in May I got my acceptance letter and I knew I wanted to attend but I wasn't sure if I would be able to. Last semester I became close to a guy who attended Southwestern (SAGU), I had a crush on him... it didn't turn out good. He hurt me pretty badly and he just recently apologized to me about it. He wasn't part of my life for four months giving me the summer to get over him. It worked, although when he suddenly burst back into my life by texting me out of nowhere I had a decision to make. Did I want to be his friend? Could I handle it? Would I be able to be friends with him and not fall for him again? I spent an entire night at work trying to make a decision. My friends told me not to be his friend, but he was going out of his way to make sure that I was his friend. I realized, once I started talking to him again, that I had missed him. Right about now he's been around me and in my life for almost a month now and I'm going strong although he still knows how to tick me off. Theres days that I don't want to see him and those are the days that I see him the most... why lord must you do this to me? I feel like a bad friend to him half of the time when I don't want to see him. This semester I go to school everyday. I'm actually an off campus student and so is my friend Sacoria aka Kori. So is my friend Pablo.... the guy mentioned above. So on Mondays I have to see him and he sits with me and my friend Kori at Off Campus Devotion. My relationship with God has improved a lot, and I'm very happy about this. Robin is my best friend ... she doesn't attend my school but a junior college right down the street from my school. We still hang out normally tonight is the first night I've been off and not hung out with her because I went to the movies with my mom. This semester has completely changed my life already and I haven't been there a month yet. 

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